First, I’m different from E.T. Second, I beat Oscar Wilde. Third, I’m worse than Wednesday Addams
As a child, I loved to observe everything. Observation turned into curiosity, curiosity turned into questions. Why? That question became my second nature. No wonder I formed strong opinions in my little head, at an early age. Throughout the growing years, my opinions would change or enforce the way I behaved, and behave today.
Have you ever asked yourself why you do what you do, and why you don’t do what you don’t do?
I reflected on three things in my own life.
First, I’m different from E.T.
When I was 10, I often found my mom sitting on the sofa next to the phone talking. In those days, we still had phones with coiled cable. We had a helping hand who would prepare lunch and dinner. My mom used her free time to spend hours talking and talking and I always wondered when she found time to eat.
I never liked that, and today I don’t have the habit to chat on the phone. I call my partner only in “emergencies”. OK, I do use Whatsapp, but I will definitely never be excited like E.T. and yell, “Phone home!”
Second, I beat Oscar Wilde.
My mom was a beauty contest winner in her hometown in East Malaysia. She was also the first in her hometown to be a flight attendant. In those days, beauty was a criterion. And yes, my mom is a beauty, a golden girl still today. She had a lot of admirers in her life. They kept coming like wasps. My mom enjoyed every moment of attention. And she loved the emotional state of temptation. Eventually, my family broke up.
There is a Chinese expression 桃花運, which means ‘peach blossom luck’. It is a Feng Shui formula to attract admirers and love. I was lucky to have natural peach blossom luck. I have admirers at school, college, university and at work. But I always remembered that there is a price to pay for temptation. Oscar Wilde, the great Irish poet, wrote, “I can resist everything except temptation.” I beat Oscar Wilde on that one.
Third, I’m worse than Wednesday Addams
My mom is not shy. She speaks to everyone. That’s excellent! She would poke and joke and tease and toy. But she had to pay a price. She would end up with the wrong person. I was put in danger twice.
This explains the shadow of seriousness in my personality. I don’t know how to toy and tease. It also makes me a worse joker than Wednesday Addams.
I’m different from E.T., I beat Oscar Wilde, I’m worse than Wednesday Addams – This is me!
I can keep this knowledge with me, or I share it with my partner. I learned that these patterns of behaviour are much more valuable when shared. Understanding goes up. Frustration goes down.
So – what about you? When do you start to reflect and share your roots of behaviour with your partner?
Leave a Reply